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  • Writer: Luke
    Luke
  • Apr 8, 2020
  • 2 min read

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The word disaster comes from Greek meaning “Bad star” deriving from the astrology interpretation that catastrophes are caused by the position of the planets. Given the current pandemic making most of the world distance from each other let’s take a step back and look at how bad this ‘star’ really is.


I have thought up a scale to rank disasters and it starts at the Zeroth Degree and getting progressively worse till the Fifth Degree. In this system I would only rank COVID-19 as only maybe a ~0.7 there’s a lot that could be far worse.


Starting with Zeroth Degree, any disaster which causes minor to significant hassle would be in the 0th Degree. This is sort of a bottom end catch all for everything from this current pandemic to burning your dinner. Anything that might make a major impact on civilization but not enough to wipe it out. That’s why I give COVID a .7 it’s definitely worse than a day to day disaster, and being global it ranks higher and localized disasters like volcanoes. However all told COVID might make even a huge impact on civilization but not change our dominance on earth.



The satellite fell while it was being worked on by Lockheed Martin Repairs to the satellite cost $135 million.
NOAA-19 satellite - The satellite fell while it was being worked on by Lockheed Martin Repairs to the satellite cost $135 million.

Making a First degree disaster of course something that threatens human civilization. Humans might continue to live in small pockets and maybe repopulate or be around to see what lifeforms take over earth next but either way we would no longer be the obvious dominant life form on earth. This would be something like an all out nuclear war, depletion of resources, or alien invasion.



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passed extinction events - blue bars show the percentage of marine animals apearing to become extinct during given time interval, peaks are evidance of "mass extinction" events.

A Second degree disaster is something that wipes out all human life, but not all life. A scenario where only the hardiest of microbes or the deepest of sea creatures survive. Something like the loss of our atmosphere, meteor strike, or a chain of catastrophic tectonic activity.



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The Third would obliterate all life on earth and therefore all known life maybe the sun flares up and boils the oceans off or the earth gets knocked off course and sent out of the solar system to freeze.


The Fourth Degree is where we really start to see some damage. This is where the entire solar system is destroyed there is no hope that any record of humanity or earth survives. This would be where the sun explodes, or we drift too close to a black hole.



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The sun expanding to engulf the earth 1AU = the distance to the sun from the earth right now.

Lastly leaving the Fifth Degree one in which the entire universe is destroyed, something fundamental in the laws of physics that lead to a universe where life as we know it is impossible.



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The "big crunch" one of the proposed fates of our universe.

Hopefully this helps make the outbreak seem mundane and unremarkable by comparison. For the next few weeks I plan on going down each degree of destruction and talk about how likely it is and what hope if any we have to prevent them. So I’ll see you next week with the maximum destruction, the 5th degree!


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  • Writer: Luke
    Luke
  • Aug 30, 2019
  • 6 min read

Updated: Jul 20, 2023

an updated FAQ can be found here: https://www.astrotours.org/post/updated-frequently-asked-questions-faqs


Please note these FAQs are for the Boulder tour for questions about Winter Park please reach out to wpguides@winterparkresort.com


How do I book? Just visit astrotours.org/booking Could you add room for an extra person or two?


I usually can make room for a few extra on most tours, just contact me at luke@astrotours.org to be sure.


Can you add availability on a certain day?

I usually can add a tour to days that are not listed on my calendar, as long as the request is made well ahead of time (this usually requires contacting more than a week before the desired date, the more advance the request is given the more likely I will be able to accommodate it. just contact me at luke@astrotours.org to be sure. What is the Address?


Please only come out to the site if you have a confirmed booking, walk ups are rejected if the tour is full. For Boulder: If you look up "Boulder Valley Ranch Trailhead" In Google maps is the best way to find it. Unfortunately, the address I have for the place gets people lost more often than not. The address is 3900 Longhorn Rd DO NOT put this address in tom-tom, apple maps, or any GPS without making sure it is the same place that comes up when you google "Boulder Valley Ranch Trailhead" and/or in the location map given by AirBnB.




To be extra sure you can send me a screenshot of the GPS location and I will tell you if it's right.


How much is a tour?


Prices are listed here: https://www.astrotours.org/discounts


I’d like to know more about the tour:

Tours start at sunset and last 2hrs. I start with a talk about the telescopes and looking at a few twilight objects. Then there's a 30 to 45min astronomy talk where, I will teach you how to navigate with the stars, point out some constellations with my lazer and share their stories as we let our eyes adjust to the night. Next is ~45 min of telescope time where we get to look at: planets, constellations, satellites, nebula, clusters, galaxies, maybe some shooting stars, and our universe. I end with a 15min q&a and a last few objects (I love looking at things in the telescopes so, guests are free to stay as late as they like and I will keep pointing telescopes at things, answering questions, and talking, as long as there's an audience).


What’s the Weather looking like?:



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How I read Weather.gov 's chart


What happens when the weather looks bad?


I give as much heads up as possible if it is looking like it might be cloudy 3 to 4 days out: Don't panic, weather reports are notoriously wrong here in Colorado. I don't make any calls until the day before the tour, and I will keep my eye on it as the day gets closer.


If I see a tour day isn’t looking that clear 3-4 days out I send a message warning guests and advising on days that have better weather and has room to add extra guests.


I offer worry free booking so if you wish to rebook or refund your tour at anytime that is 100% fine. I also guarantee satisfaction with my tour so if you do come and we are clouded out or for any reason you are not satisfied, just let me know and I'll issue a full refund.

I'll keep you posted if the forecast changes in the next few days


1 to 2 days before the tour: If the weather report hasn’t changed much and it is a day or two before the tour send a message informing guests that cancellation is likely and offering days to rebook.

I might hold off officially calling the tour off if it looks to be clearing a little, in hopes it will continue to clear.

I often will add an additional tour on a day which looks to be the more clear at this point and encourage anyone that’s able to rebook to do so

Within 24hrs of the tour:If the weather is still cloudy, we will have to cancel

If you are unable to rebook I will put your refund in shortly after letting you know it has ben canceled, let me know if you do not receive a refund within 24hrs.

Is there any hiking or walking involved?


Nope, No hiking required. the Tour takes place a trailhead parking lot, you will be less than 75ft from your car, and the ground is flat. I provide chairs for you to sit in during most of the show, and can assist you getting around if needed. Most of the telescopes require standing to use, however I can show the same things in more accessible telescopes if needed, and you will be able to sit during telescope time if needed as well. Please let me know if more wheelchair accessible telescopes are needed. What is your drug/alcohol policy?


This is a family program and drinking and smoking is not permitted at the sight. Showing up sober is recommended. If you are planning on getting intoxicated prior to the tour being stoned is recommended over being drunk. full details are here: https://www.astrotours.org/post/drug-and-alcohol-policy



I will be staying in Denver how should I get to the tour?


The tour is located right off hwy-36 which leaves north-west out of Denver. It is about 25 Miles outside of Denver right outside of Boulder (a ~suburb of Denver).


If you are planning on doing my tour and staying in Denver (without a car) I suggest taking the Flatiron Flyer, a nice & fast bus that will take you from downtown Denver to downtown Boulder for $5.50, you will then need to Uber the last 4 miles to the site of the tour. Uber/Lyft will pick up and drop off at the sight.


If you are visiting from out of state I would recommend making a day out of visiting boulder, coming in the morning and seeing Boulder. Boulder is a cultural, natural, and economic hub of the greater Denver area. Most things are within walking distance. My top places are Chautauqua park, Pearl St Mall, and the celestial seasoning's tea factory.

Is this show suitable for children?


All ages are welcome! I just warn parents of young children: this is a late night show geared for a developed mind requiring a good attention span, little ones often fall asleep. As 2 year olds will probably be asleep the whole time, I offer it free to babies 2 and under.


Will there be cell phone reception?


Yes, I’ve never had a guest have trouble getting a phone signal at the sight. All major networks have coverage. If necessary I can provide tethering via my phone if needed.

Can I give a tour as a Gift? Yes, definitely! I have a few ways you could gift a tour:


You can buy a gift card here: https://www.astrotours.org/gift


You can communicate with the recipient and book the night they want.

I keep a physical calendar which I use to make notes and edits on. If you book a night and they say they want a different night I can just note the change on my calendar.

Let me know the occasion as I have special things for anniversaries and birthdays. should we come earlier? If you want to come earlier to see the telescopes in the daylight and ask questions, ~15min before the show starts, I usually talk about the telescopes as a bonus for anyone that's early but I won't start the actual show till after the start time. Are Dogs welcome?:

Dogs are welcome! They are required to be on a leash at the trail head so my main concern is that you watch your dog to be sure the leash isn't tangled around a tripod (or knocking over a telescope). I love dogs and am excited to have them on the tour! What telescope should I buy?

For back yard I'd say a Dobsonian telescope and for camping/travel/etc a Schmitt-cassigrain. don't get anything smaller than a 4 inch telescope (smaller than 4inch would just be a toy for looking at the moon, you're better off with a pair of binoculars).


Honestly just starting with a good set of binoculars is a great way to go. you will be impressed with what you can see in binos and if you do get a telescope they're nice to find what you want to point a telescope at. get (15 to 20)X(60 to 40). first # is zoom more zoom makes it harder to use The second number is aperture the bigger the better but harder to carry so 60 would be for in a car 40 would be for on a hike with ~50 being a good middle ground.

There's a few more options, but those are good rules of thumb.

 
 
 

I forced a bot to write 1000 hrs of PBS documentaries and this is what I made up it saying:


Pastel background with words:

[male disembodied voice]

Viewers like you fund the possible

{time to donate music plays}

[male disembodied voice]

And the education grant provided with underwritten support from the department of corporation DKB&F Foundation funding for the future.


Dramatic mountain tops with stars space and bizarre creatures eating each other:

{drums and flute play}

[female disembodied voice]

For a long long long long time the impossible was never done until one man discovered the secret.


Fade in to one guy in 3 pairs of safety glasses and lab coat with safety glasses in pocket, standing arms crossed, expression on his face says it all, telescopes and microscopes in each hand. Different colored liquids in skinny bottles on all counter tops in his kitchen.

[female disembodied voice]

Meet Dr. professor Doug; Dr. professor Doug is just your ordinary guy that has a discovery of a new talent extraordinarily!


We see Doug sitting in comfy chair arms no longer crossed just one pair of penta-focal glasses, he is comfy and we are jealous. Lamp next to him flickers and lights up the bookshelf behind him. Normally a bookshelf would break with this much knowledge but this one is strong made out of wood or something, we are jealous of this too. Words appear under Doug he’s a Dr at the hospital university college DKB&F foundation.

[Dr. prof. Doug]

*Laughs* the funny part about it is it was funny all along


We know doug is credible and human we see it in his human skin and hear it in his laughter we laugh with him and enjoy being humans and not bots.

[female disembodied voice]

Doug made discovery unbelievable important and impossibly possible


We see an impossible creature flying above a snow covered mountain at the bottom of the Ocean.

[Dr. prof. Doug]

*Laughs* Just like life and my car keys the last place you look is where you find it. We were looking for something different and discovered something the same and this was different from the different we were looking for in a different way. You see this creature. This is a Dinosaur-Kangaroo-Bat-Fish-asuras and has been around longer than time itself.


We see the the bottom of the ocean is in a fish tank in a different place Doug is standing above fish tank safety goggles, lab coat. The bookshelf has been replaced by a computer not made of wood but made of shiny metal and blinking lights.

[Dr. prof. Doug]

*Laughs* we have to see the Dinosaur-Kangaroo-Bat-Fish-asuras to believe the creature


We see the creature it has skin not like human skin but like space the space fills up the ocean and the place and now we see Doug in the space station in space. The computer’s shiny metal skin is replaced with white foam space computer skin.

[Dr. prof. Doug]

*Laughs*this creature is releasing a photopshicoconetic signal to our sensory perspective that really makes reality impossible without the possible. This creature hunts its prey in the amazon alps and digests it without killing it so that it can keep living in the digestive tract.


We realize that doug is a terrible source as he has taken too much money from the DKB&F foundation but we are too mesmerized by the photopshicoconetic space skin to stop watching.

[female disembodied voice]

We are currently being digested by the creature but that’s ok because Doug has a plan.

[Dr. prof. Doug]

*Laughs* we can just keep living in the creature as it won’t kill the pray it eats.

The lights on the space computer blinks faster and in different sequences than before

[Dr. prof. Doug]

*stops laughing for the first time* Oh no the computer has been internet hacked just like in the hollywood movies we never thought this could happen the real documentaries become like the Hollywood movies


Abruptly cut to the interior of a call center

[Becky]

Wow! Right Tom

[Tom]

Yes wow Becky you don’t get programming like this on the other networks that is why we have to ask for your money today!

[Beck]

That’s right Tom we have hundreds of phones ready to take your money


We see the hundreds of phones and hear hundreds of annoying ringing in the background.

[Becky]

And if you call today you will get the whole series on a tape cassette stitched into a tote bag.

We stop watching as Tom and Becky have no screen chemistry, the phone ringing is annoying and we have no cassette player or money for public television.

 
 
 
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